Hello? Can you hear me?

So I’ve been on this journey to unlocking the connection between me, my angels and my guides for only a few short months now.

I think it’s time I write out my experiences. I always find that (for me) it helps when you write it down so every day I journal but this is the first time I’ve publicly discussed it.

For many years I’ve felt drawn to the Tarot and Tarot readings. I don’t know how I got started on it. We just happened to be out one night and making our usual Barnes & Noble trip before dinner and we came across this pack of cards and deck.

I was to pick it up and purchase it.

Since then I’ve been doing readings for mainly my sister, my daughter and a very small select people who I know have the faith and believe. I don’t read for anyone who’s negative to this or doesn’t believe, it’s a waste of their time and yours because nothing you say or do will ever show them or change their thought process about it.

So anyway, I started doing readings and the cards were coming through. No question about it. But I always felt inadequate because I could never just say what I saw or felt. I always had to read from the book.

This annoyed me more than anything. I wanted to be the type of reader who would just automatically know what each card was and what it was trying to tell me. Now because the only people I read for are people I knew very well, once I read the meaning of the cards I was easily able to help interpret the meaning and action needed. They don’t always listen but that’s a story for another day! 🙂

For some reason I’ve been struggling with anxiety and up/down depression for a while. I think I mentioned this in another page but I felt a pull in March to start this Udemy course on mastering the Tarot. From there it turned into Oracle cards and now I’m working on strengthening my connection to my angels and guides.

I’m not saying I’m going to go out, quit my job and become a full time psychic. That’s not why I started this journey. This journey is more about me, discovering me and any possible gifts I may or may not have to actually go out and make a difference in the world. Whether that’s to be a counselor, a healer, a guide or all 3.

So as I’m going through the course, I’m feeling the connection to the Oracle cards. I feel that it helps they have a sentence or two at the bottom that I don’t have to refer to any book unless I want to try and take action or need any further guidance. But I’m still not feeling that with my Tarot cards.

I mean, I’m not totally hopeless. There’s quite a few of them that I do know but I feel that’s more scripted on just memorizing the meanings rather than feeling them or just knowing. Whenever I think “I know this one” or “I got this” when I refer to the book I’m either about 75% there or I’m completely out all together.

This is very true when it comes to the Court cards and the Major Arcana. Again, some of the Major Arcana cards are pretty clear as I remember their meanings but I’m not feeling them.

I’m very self confident and self defeating at the best of times. In just about everything I do – I never feel “good enough”. Like I can craft but I criticize every aspect of it when I’m done. I can crochet but seem to only see my mistakes at the end rather than the bigger picture. It’s always been the same.

Well that’s not entirely true. Not always. Before I wouldn’t have even have the courage to try it knowing instantly it would be a big fat failure.

Now I have a bit more confidence in at least trying it but can never make it “good enough” for me. Baking, crafting, writing, working – whatever, it’s always the same. It’s “good” but not “good enough”.

So that thinking has been coming through quite clearly with my journey to connecting to my guides. I mean I feel like I should be a healer, counselor or guide of some sort but then as soon as I start trying I feel like I’m already failing.

I don’t hear angels in my ear, I don’t feel or see spirits and guides directing me to the answer so I instantly turn that into “oh I must be rubbish at this too”.

Today that was even more evident. I did my morning walk, albeit short thanks to the rain but left my music and audiobook off this time. I thought “ok, I’m hear and I’m listening. No distractions” and I got nadda.

After my morning ritual walk, I did my morning ritual journal time on the porch with my cards. I pull 1 card from each deck.

You know, I was amazed. Like literally. I actually felt that each card was an actual direct response to my direct question. Now I’m not talking no general questions like “What do I need to know about today?” kind of question. Like a literal specific direct question and I made sure each question was different as to not confuse any responses.

Y’all, I did it! I got my answers to confirm that I really am connected. I really am receiving messages. I may not always hear them or understand them but it was the affirmation that I needed to let me know that I’m on the right path and I’m getting there!

I specifically did a follow up question to my last card that I pulled. Saying “ok, but exactly how can I do this thing” and you know what I got back? “Have you asked your angels to help you with this?”

This was exactly what I needed to experience and hear/see for me. This has given me the confidence to not give up, to keep trying and to be patient with myself. Things are happening for a reason and falling into place for me. I just have to be open to it. I don’t have to force it.

So the message today here friends is whatever it is you’re struggling with, whatever it is you’re trying to do or wanting to do that is for your best and highest good, ASK FOR HELP! But it’s no good just asking, you truly have to believe it, breath it, feel it.

If you do something but you’re heart isn’t truly in it – what generally happens for you? It just doesn’t work out in some way.

The same can be said for the power of positive thinking. Don’t be your own worst enemy. You have to believe in yourself, believe in the power of your guides and angels and ASK them to help you in this. And remember to say thank you when they do.

It may not always immediately work out in days, this could be something that just takes time. But continuing to ask them for help, believing that they will help and being open to what’s going on around you – the signs are always there. You just need to look for them. Ask for protection, ask for healing and ask for guidance but most importantly ask for help. Believe that you deserve this, that you deserve to be happy. You have the free will to make your own choices of course so they can only present you with opportunities. It’s up to you on whether you act or don’t act on them that can make the difference.

I’m hear and even though I’m still learning my way around, I’m happy to help you in this and however I can. You only need to reach out and ask me as well!

If you’re interested in finding out more about connecting with your guides and angels I’m also happy to recommend some reading materials, audiobooks and courses that I’ve found. I’ve had to earmark some of them as I just don’t have the money right now to sign up for all the things but when I do, I will!

It’s all about the Laws of Attraction. If all you focus on is the negatives in your life, that’s all you’re going to get back. Focus on the positives in your life, the light, the love. Give thanks and be grateful for what you do have instead of focusing on what you don’t have!

So remember, just ask and believe.